Last year was a tough one for me. Depression is something I've struggled with off and on for years, and last year it was more on than off. I knew I had to do something drastic when it got to the point that I began spending days with my own routine, going to the office early in the morning, back home late in the evening and rarely leaving the house in the weekend or talking to friends or family.
I knew that performing random acts of kindness had made me feel good in the past, so I decided to try doing that again in the hopes that it would lift my spirits.
Money was tight, I normally had a big breakfast and will skip lunch and my next meal will be dinner. I knew that I couldn't afford to do feed the homeless alone, as they are more than 100 of them every night. I had to find a cheap (or even free) way to perform my random acts of kindness.
So this is what I did: I will normally have 2 nasi lemak or 2 piece of roti canai for my breakfast. But this time I only ate 1 nasi lemak or 1 piece of roti canai and will "tapau' the rest. On my way back home, I will try search for any lucky makcik cleaner or security to enjoy the nasi lemak or roti canai for their breakfast.
Even though I never actually saw them eating the breakfast, I began to feel better. Instead of constantly thinking about all the things I was unhappy with, I found myself daydreaming about them smiling as they were having the breakfast that I gave them. I was excited about what I've been doing that I could spread a little happiness throughout the universe and hopefully make someone's day a little brighter.
By the end of the day, I realized that I had found the cure for depression! Or at least something I could do to make it easier to bear.
Performing random acts of kindness has now become my addict, making my bouts of depression much more manageable. And the thought that people might be paying it forward makes me absolutely happy!
Muhammad bin Kamarulazizi
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